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#so fucking awesome

"30 Rock"

  • (LIZ enters the offices of "The Sing-Off" and sits next to... someone familiar.)
  • SORKIN: You here for the "Sing-Off" gig?
  • LIZ: Yeah. (Beat.) Do I know you?
  • SORKIN: You know my work. (Gets up.) Walk with me.
  • (They walk. And talk!)
  • AARON: I'm Aaron Sorkin. "The West Wing," "A Few Good Men," "The Social Network" --
  • LIZ: "Studio 60"?
  • SORKIN: Shut up. You know Nick Lachey? I hear he doesn't even let you sit for a meeting -- he just screams at you to see how you react.
  • LIZ: Wait. You're not really applying for this job, are you?
  • SORKIN: Of course I am -- you gotta take work where you can find it, especially now. Our craft is dying while people are playing "Angry Birds" and poking each other on Facebook. What is "poking" anyway? Why won't anybody do it to me? I'm cool!
  • LIZ: So it's really that bad out there? I mean, you're Aaron Sorkin! Speaking of Angry Birds, do you know how to beat 11-4? It's just a green guy and a red guy.
  • SORKIN: Key is to not use the green guy as a boomerang.
  • (They sit back down.)
  • LIZ (confused): Did we just go in a circle?
  • SORKIN: Listen, lady -- a gender I write extremely well if the story calls for it -- this is serious: we make horse buggies, and the first Model-T just rolled into town.
  • LIZ: We're dinosaurs.
  • SORKIN: We don't need two metaphors -- that's bad writing. Not that it matters.
  • P.A. (from inside doorway): Mr. Sorkin? Mr. Lachey will see you now.
  • (SORKIN gets up and walks into office, then, obsequiously: )
  • SORKIN: Mr. Lachey? Huge fan, huge fan! I have all your albums.