JERRY: So what do you want for breakfast?
JASON: Ham. Eggs. Whatever.
JERRY: "Ham eggs whatever?"
JASON: Yeah. What about it?
JERRY: Jason, this is New York City. Manhattan. We could go anywhere and eat anything and you want “ham eggs whatever”?
JASON: I’m not a food snob, Jerry!
JERRY: Not with that red jacket you’re not.
JASON: I’m hungry, okay? Let’s go to a diner. How about Tom’s?
JERRY: Tom’s? (Dismissive.) Too obvious.
JASON: Jerry, I’m hungry.
JERRY: Yeah, I know. Ham eggs whatever.
JASON: Yes. Ham. Eggs. Whatever. Stuff my mouth. Need to stuff. My Mouth.
JERRY (surrender mode): Oh okay, fine. Tom’s it is.
JASON: Oh good. Their orange juice is fresh squeezed, you know.
JERRY: No, George. No one is actually doing that. No one is actually in the kitchen inside Tom’s in Manhattan freshly squeezing oranges for you.
JASON: Did you just call me “George”? (Flustered.) And… and… you’re a professional buzzkill, you know that?
JERRY: Are you really going to wear that?
JERRY: The puffy red jacket… the loose-fitting jeans… You look like you’re dressed in a 90’s sitcom.
JASON: I’m comfortable.
JERRY: All right, Mr. ham eggs whatever. Where do you want to go afterward?
JASON: I need a lift to the airport.
JERRY (explodes): I’M NOT DRIVING YOU TO THE AIRPORT!!!
(Photo of Jason Alexander and Jerry Seinfeld walking by — or going to? — Tom’s Restaurant, which stood in for “Monk’s” in the hit show Seinfeld, in Manhattan on Monday by Ali Phil / Twitter via Mashable)
Curious story placement on the New York Times website today, with Jerry Seinfeld talking about nothing — and the paper using a perhaps poorly-timed, hyperbolic hed — amidst all of that something.
THE CONDO BOARD PRESIDENT OF DEL BOCA VISTA President Barack Obama greeted residents as he arrived for a campaign event Tuesday in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. (Photo: Carolyn Kaster / AP via the Wall Street Journal)
Only Jean Valjean rocks the puffy shirt.
Front page, New York Post, Monday 24 January 2011.
Best one of the New York City bunch.
[ELAINE enters JERRY’s apartment, exasperated.]
JERRY: Oh, hey Elaine.
ELAINE: Jer, I need to borrow $20.
ELAINE: I need groceries. I’m short this week.
JERRY [snarky]: You’re short every week.
ELAINE [annoyed]: Are you gonna lend it to me or not?
JERRY: I dunno, Lanie. I’m not an ATM.
ELAINE: Fine. Then I’m raiding your fridge.
JERRY: Whatever, Kramer.
ELAINE [whining]: Just lend me $20!
JERRY: Fine. [Takes out wallet, removes $20.] Here.
ELAINE: Thank you.
JERRY [inquisitive]: So… what are you going to buy with my… $20?
ELAINE: What, you want a list?
JERRY: I think I deserve a list.
ELAINE [aggressive]: You really want a list?
ELAINE [shoving JERRY]: Here’s your list, you big hipster DOOFUS!
(Photo of two bears playing at the Daehlhoelzli Zoo in Bern, Switzerland by EPA via the Telegraph)
JACK: Why are you better-looking in your memory?
LIZ: My memory has Seinfeld money.
Actor Jerry Stiller, who portrayed George Costanza’s father Frank on Seinfeld, visited a house in Astoria, Queens that stood in for the exterior of the Costanza home during the show’s run.
This photo of Stiller with owners Jack and Bessie Lopierro looks exactly like I’d think it would. :-)
(Photo: Julia Xanthos / the New York Daily News)