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(David Letterman) has been on the air my entire adult life. Late Night debuted my first year in college. I learned more from watching Dave than I did from going to my classes — especially the ones I did not go to because I had stayed up until 1:30 watching Dave.

This man has influenced every host that came after him, and even a few who came before him — he’s that good.

And I tell you — I do not envy whoever they try to put in that chair.

STEPHEN COLBERT, The Colbert Report

"The exciting news today is I no longer need a cable subscription for the privilege of watching Stephen Colbert. Our good friend Stephen Colbert will be heading to CBS to take over The Late Show from — for at least me — the best that ever was.”

— JON STEWART opened his show tonight with kind words for his former Daily Show correspondent.

"The exciting news today is I no longer need a cable subscription for the privilege of watching Stephen Colbert. Our good friend Stephen Colbert will be heading to CBS to take over The Late Show from — for at least me — the best that ever was.”

— JON STEWART opened his show tonight with kind words for his former Daily Show correspondent.

Twenty people were injured — four critically — when a teenager wielding two knives started attacking students at Franklin Regional Senior High School in Murrysville. All of the injured were students with the exception of an adult security guard.

Westmoreland County public safety spokesman Dan Stevens said the suspect, a 16-year-old, is in custody and was questioned by Murrysville police and Westmoreland County detectives before being taken to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries to his hands.

Authorities said the teen showed two knives in the attacks, but they didn’t say what kind or why. Murrysville police Chief Thomas Seefeld said a motive is still unclear.

"We don’t know what led up to this," he said.

A witness said the suspect was tackled by assistant principal Sam King.

The chief said the 20 injured were either slashed or stabbed and four are in critical condition.

"We’re praying and hoping the best for all the victims," he said.

Four students were flown to hospitals by medical helicopter. Eight victims were taken to Forbes Regional Hospital in Monroeville. Seven of those injured were between the ages of 15 and 17; one was an adult, according to Forbes trauma surgeon Christoph Kaufman, who described the injuries as ranging “superficial to some quite serious.”

The security guard was slashed or stabbed in the stomach, the chief said.

Dr. Timothy Van Fleet, of the department of emergency medicine at UPMC, said six victims were brought to UPMC East and one was transferred to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh UPMC. Four of the victims were treated and released, and one was undergoing plastic surgery for facial lacerations and is expected to be treated and released later today.

One student was treated and released at UPMC Mercy. Five — including the victim transferred from UPMC East — were at Children’s Hospital, where one was in critical condition, two were in serious condition, and two were fair.

UPMC Presbyterian had one victim in critical condition.

One 15-year-old girl, Ariana Schofield of Export, was flown from the school to Allegheny General Hospital, where she was treated and released.

According to the state Department of Education, Franklin Regional Senior High School has an enrollment of 1,222.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, "20 Injured in Knife Attack at Franklin Regional High School"

Twenty people were injured — four seriously — in multiple stabbings this morning inside Franklin Regional High School in Murrysville. Most of the injured were students.

Westmoreland County public safety spokesman Dan Stevens said a male suspect, also a student, is in custody and was being questioned by Murrysville police and Westmoreland County detectives.

None of the injuries was life-threatening, he said.

Those seriously injured were flown to hospitals by medical helicopter, including eight people who were taken to Forbes Regional Hospital in Monroeville. Seven of those injured were between the ages of 15 and 17; one was an adult. One victim was life-flighted to Allegheny General Hospital. Some of the injured suffered stab wounds to the extremities, he said.

Students are also being treated at UPMC East and UPMC Presbyterian.

Just before 7:15 a.m., a school resource officer asked for medical assistance at the school for a stabbing. The students were injured in several first-floor classrooms and in the hallways before the classes started, Mr. Stevens said.

Parents of the injured students are being contacted. Parents of other students are asked to go to Heritage Elementary, also in Murrysville, to pick up their children.

Police, emergency crews and school buses lined the entrance to the school this morning. A stretcher was loaded into an ambulance around 8:15 a.m.

On its website, the school district said, “A critical incident has occurred at the high school. All elementary schools are canceled, the middle school and high school students are secure. Additional information will be released as soon as possible. Please keep our campus clear of traffic.”

The FBI is on the scene.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, "Multiple Stabbings at Franklin Regional High School"

50 years ago, America’s biggest employer was General Motors, where workers made the modern equivalent of $50 dollars an hour. Today, America’s biggest employer is Walmart, where the average wage is eight dollars an hour.

… And Walmart released their annual report this month, and in it was the fact that most of what Walmart sells is food. And most of their customers need food stamps to pay for it. Meanwhile, Walmart’s owners are so absurdly rich that one of them, Alice Walton, spent over a billion dollars building an art museum in Bentonville, Arkansas… And she said about it, “For years I’ve been thinking about what we can do as a family that can really make a difference.” How about giving your employees a raise, you deluded nitwit?

BILL MAHER, Real Time

(via DailyKos)

His last Opening Day in the Bronx is today.
You hate him but you know he’s a five-time World Series champ.
You hate him but you know he’s been in the playoffs 17 out of his 19 seasons in the bigs thus far.
You hate him but you know he’s got a lifetime .312 batting average (to date) with more than 1200 RBI and 250 homeruns in a 20-year career.
You hate him but you know he just passed Milwaukee’s Paul Molitor to become 8th in total hits, with Carl Yaztremski’s hit total coming up next. 
You hate him but you know he’s earned his nicknames “Mr. November,” “Captain Clutch” and whatever other monikers fans and other players have devised and applied.
You hate him but he plays the game right, and always has.
You hate him but you know you can’t hate him because look at that smile and oh yeah, did we mention the World Series rings?
Thanks for everything, Captain.
Thank you, Derek Jeter.
Even from the haters.

His last Opening Day in the Bronx is today.

You hate him but you know he’s a five-time World Series champ.

You hate him but you know he’s been in the playoffs 17 out of his 19 seasons in the bigs thus far.

You hate him but you know he’s got a lifetime .312 batting average (to date) with more than 1200 RBI and 250 homeruns in a 20-year career.

You hate him but you know he just passed Milwaukee’s Paul Molitor to become 8th in total hits, with Carl Yaztremski’s hit total coming up next. 

You hate him but you know he’s earned his nicknames “Mr. November,” “Captain Clutch” and whatever other monikers fans and other players have devised and applied.

You hate him but he plays the game right, and always has.

You hate him but you know you can’t hate him because look at that smile and oh yeah, did we mention the World Series rings?

Thanks for everything, Captain.

Thank you, Derek Jeter.

Even from the haters.

There is a truism in Washington that was confirmed last week in Congress: Even less popular than government regulation is a regulator suspected of not doing its job.

Not for the first time, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration — or N.H.T.S.A. (pronounced NITZ-ah) — was forced to answer for failing to protect consumers. In this case, the failure involved a defective General Motors ignition switch implicated in 13 deaths. While G.M.’s new chief executive, Mary T. Barra, took most of the heat in two days of House and Senate hearings last week, she shared the grill with the safety agency’s acting administrator, David J. Friedman.

Critics, and not just in Congress, have noted that it was not the N.H.T.S.A. that exposed G.M.’s safety lapse and forced the automaker’s recent recalls of nearly 2.6 million vehicles. The defect was discovered by a lawyer and engineer involved in a lawsuit filed against G.M. by the parents of a Georgia woman killed in 2010. Subsequent press reports spurred the recall. Further stoking concerns, the agency twice considered and decided against opening a formal investigation of the suspected defect.


Given that backdrop, Mr. Friedman’s testimony that his agency would have acted differently had G.M. not withheld information about the flawed part won little sympathy from Congress.

“He basically told us that if only General Motors told them there was a problem, then N.H.T.S.A. could have told G.M. there was a problem,” said Representative Tim Murphy, Republican of Pennsylvania who presided over the House hearing, in an interview. “It’s almost dismissive of their role and I’m not satisfied with that.”

“So what we want to know,” Mr. Murphy continued, “is what is all the information that N.H.T.S.A. had, and how did they handle it each step of the way?”

Yet Congress, too, faces questions. The N.H.T.S.A. budget for operations and research has fallen relative to inflation since 2002, when the G.M. saga began, though no one has suggested that more money and a larger staff might have prevented it. The agency’s unit for investigating defects gets about $10 million a year — less than Ms. Barra’s compensation, noted Joan Claybrook, a consumer advocate who led the N.H.T.S.A. in the Carter administration.

Aggressive regulation is typically not rewarded, especially in the Republican-controlled House. And the G.M. case is reviving calls for Congress to strengthen a law enacted in 2000 after the safety scandal involving defective Firestone tires on Ford Explorers. That law was supposed to give the N.H.T.S.A. greater regulatory muscle by requiring manufacturers to file quarterly early-warning reports on any potential problems or defects. But rules written during the George W. Bush administration give companies a loophole to withhold information they define as business secrets.

The law also limits fines that the N.H.T.S.A. can assess for noncompliance, and allows civil but not criminal penalties. Legislative attempts to address the loopholes and limits in 2010 were blocked by the auto lobby and allies in Congress, though Democrats are now trying again.

The New York Times, “Minding the Minders of G.M.”

It’s like you don’t know whether to SMH, LOL, or WTF.

A shooting Wednesday night left at least one person dead and at least 14 others wounded at Fort Hood, the sprawling Army facility that in 2009 was the site of the deadliest mass shootings ever at an American military base, law enforcement officials said.

There were conflicting reports of whether the gunman was dead. One senior federal law enforcement official said the gunman was a member of the military and had been killed. Another official said the gunman “has been neutralized,” although he would not say whether that meant he had been killed or was under arrest. Military officials would not confirm the status of the gunman.

The Fort Hood Press Center said that the injured were being treated at the Carl R. Darnall Medical Center on the post and at other local hospitals.

The shooting that sent Fort Hood in Killeen, Tex., into a lockdown sparked a massive police response and brought back memories of the deadly rampage there in November 2009. On Nov. 5, 2009, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan opened fire inside the Soldier Readiness Processing Center, shooting unarmed soldiers and commissioned officers as they tried to hide under desks and tables. Major Hasan, a Muslim military psychiatrist, shot and killed 12 unarmed soldiers and one civilian while wounding or shooting at 30 other soldiers and two police officers.

The New York Times, "Fort Hood Shooting Leaves One Dead, 14 Injured."

Jesus Christ.