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NBC Edits Out IOC Anti-Discrimination Statement From Opening Ceremony »

What the fuck Kool-Aid are those fuckers at NBC drinking?  Does it taste like Vladimir Putin’s Soviet-era piss?

For shame.

"This has been the greatest 22 years of my life. …First year of this show, I lost my mom.  Second year, I lost my dad. Then my brother died. And after that, I was pretty much out of family. And the folks here became my family. …And when people say to me ‘Hey why didn’t you go to ABC? Why didn’t you go to Fox?’ I didn’t know anybody over there.  These are the only people I know."

— JAY LENO just gave a tearful goodbye as the host of The Tonight Show, graciously capping a more than two-decade run.

"This has been the greatest 22 years of my life. …First year of this show, I lost my mom.  Second year, I lost my dad. Then my brother died. And after that, I was pretty much out of family. And the folks here became my family. …And when people say to me ‘Hey why didn’t you go to ABC? Why didn’t you go to Fox?’ I didn’t know anybody over there.  These are the only people I know."

— JAY LENO just gave a tearful goodbye as the host of The Tonight Show, graciously capping a more than two-decade run.

ABED:  Clone Troy.
TROY:  Clone Abed.
(Beat.)
ABED:  By the way, when I cloned you, I had to patch missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon.  You may notice side effects… like a compulsion to come back.

HEY NBC NOW THAT AMY POEHLER WON A GOLDEN GLOBE ON AN AWARD SHOW BRING BROADCAST BY NBC WHICH AMY FUCKING POEHLER IS HOSTING MAYBE YOU WILL STOP PRE-EMPTING ONE OF THE BEST GOD DAMNED SHOWS ON TELEVISION.

HEY NBC NOW THAT AMY POEHLER WON A GOLDEN GLOBE ON AN AWARD SHOW BRING BROADCAST BY NBC WHICH AMY FUCKING POEHLER IS HOSTING MAYBE YOU WILL STOP PRE-EMPTING ONE OF THE BEST GOD DAMNED SHOWS ON TELEVISION.

Behind the candelabra; in front of Hannah Horvath.

Behind the candelabra; in front of Hannah Horvath.

"In the interest of gender equality, here is Mr. Golden Globe, my son from a previous relationship, Randy.”

"In vino veritas and great award shows."

— Jennifer Lawrence

"In vino veritas and great award shows."

— Jennifer Lawrence

(Dead silence, then—)  

I’m not gonna lie to you — they put the wrong stuff on the TelePrompter.”