Today’s installment of our special series "Things We Don’t Think Would’ve Happened If Steve Jobs Was Still Alive."
Morning News Read 4 October 2013.
- CAPITOL MAYHEM: Miriam Carey, a 34-year-old dental hygienist from Stamford Conneticut, was shot dead after she used her car to try and ram through security barricades at the White House then led Capitol police on a high-speed chase. A one-year-old child was recovered safely from her car and is now in protective custody. Family members tell the media Carey had suffered from postpartum depression. (WashPost / Hartford Courant / NY Daily News)
- The United States Capitol Police, which sprang into action during yesterday’s attacks and who are considered “essential” federal employees, will not be paid until the Republican-led government shutdown is over. Hey, good job, GOP. (ABC News)
- MORE SHUTDOWN: Some Republicans think the shutdown they engineered will have bad effects on the party. They come from the “No Shit, Sherlock” faction. Also, moderate Republicans hatefuck Ted Cruz. (NY Times / HuffPo)
- And oh yes, looks like the Constitution, the GOP’s favorite toilet paper, might give the President a way to raise the debt ceiling all by his lonesome. (NY Times)
- WENDY! Rising Democratic star Wendy Davis makes it official: she’s running for Texas governor. (Dallas Morning News)
- TWITS: Company sets IPO parameters, thinks its worth between $9.7 and $13 billion. Yeah, so was Tumblr, amirite??? (WSJ)
- KAREN: Tropical storm gathers strength, barrels toward Gulf Coast. (Al Jazeera)
- IS THAT YOU, SIRI? The identity of the voice actress behind the iPhone feature is revealed. (CNN)
- TODAY IN SILLY HEADLINES: "Miley Cyrus Hits Back at Sinead O’Connor In Social Media Spat." Really. (Mashable)
- And finally… THE JERK STORE CALLED… AND THEY DON’T WANT YOU: More employers are specifically looking for new hires who aren’t jerks. Guess nice guys and gals don’t finish last, after all. (MSNBC)
(Photo of nice gal Wendy Davis by Michael Ainsworth / Dallas Morning News)
I don’t mind so much that Apple stuck a couple of Klingon-spouting Trekkies in their commercial for the iPhone 5.
(Very late) Weekend News Read 21 September 2013.
(Photo of one of two hydrogen bombs that landed in Goldsboro, NC — with its parachute still intact — via Wikipedia)
A tiny figure of the co-founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, sits in front of an Apple Store in the Ginza shopping district as people queue to purchase the new iPhones in Tokyo. (Photo: Toru Yamanaka / AFP-Getty via The Guardian)
Baaaa. Baaaaaaaaaa. Baaaaa. Baaaaaaaaaaaaa!
(Taken with my Android phone.)
Morning News Read 10 September 2013.
(Image of $9.11 golf ad via @joshorton / NY Daily News)
Ars Technica has a photo of the earliest known iPhone prototype, 5”x7” and just over two inches thick, or as Steve Jobs called it, “I’d rather be dead than have you guys release this to the general public. Try again.”
A conversation between me and Tumblr about Apple.
ME: One day people will realize that buying a new iPhone every single year — and, also, the idea that a company convinced people will buy a new iPhone every single year — is just insane and also just plain unrealistic and in no way a sustainable business model and, sky-high as its stock price is now, its share price will take a hit once folks arrive at this rather common-sense conclusion.
TUMBLR: Shut up you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about*.
ME: OMG you’re right. What do I know?
“I profile a new technology — I hope it’s an iPhone that tells you when to get in line for the new iPhone!”
– STEPHEN COLBERT, getting it, on The Colbert Report