This was magical.
If you ever needed a reason to follow @TheDailyShow, this is it.
Here’s the original segment, in case you missed it.
Tracks
This is like the irresponsible shithead pot calling the bloviated fearmongering kettle black.
Brian Williams Just Crushed Donald Trump - Business Insider
“So there you have that. That happened.”
This is the evening NBC News told NBC Entertainment to fuck off.
(Donald Trump) offered the President of the United States a charity gift of five million dollars if the President would release his college transcripts. I believe we have the footage of the announcement. [Video rolls.] You know what? I’m sorry — that (video) wasn’t Donald Trump essentially trying to publicly extort the President of the United States. That was a gorilla trying to eat his own shit.
Never forget.
Are you fucking kidding me with this bull fucking shit, Politico?
How the fuck is this news? Are you MacRumors reporting on the iPad mini now?
Somebody said, ‘Oh, because I brought up the birth certificate, I’m a racist. I said, ‘How can I be a racist? I just picked Arsenio Hall.’
Race-baiting Birther DONALD TRUMP, to a Republican convention in North Carolina, explaining why his pick for Celebrity Apprentice means he’s not what everyone knows he is: a racist.
It’s his latest variation on “I have a great relationship with the blacks.”
Mitt Romney’s campaign is beholden to Donald Trump.
Mitt Romney’s campaign is beholden to Donald Trump.
Mitt Romney’s campaign is beholden to Donald Trump.
Remember that, Republican “moderates.”
The cost of appearing with this bloviating ignoramus is obvious, it seems to me. Donald Trump is redundant evidence that if your net worth is high enough, your I.Q. can be very low and you can still intrude into American politics.
Noted conservative GEORGE WILL, on Romney’s campaign appearance with Donald Trump, on ABC News This Week
(via The Colbert Report)
The Colbert Report
NY TIMES: "The doubts about Mr. Obama’s birthplace — and its impact on whether he can legitimately be president — have been thoroughly discredited by mainstream news organizations and rejected by politicians of both parties. But there remain pockets of enthusiasm for the narrative that Mr. Obama should never have been allowed to be president. It’s possible that Mr. Romney does not want to alienate those voters by throwing Mr. Trump overboard."
You know, if Republicans really, really wanted to quash the whole Birther issue, they could.
If they want to. But they don’t, because hey, there are enough paranoid, racist assholes in this country who, I dunno, might want to vote for Mitt Romney.
And that totally makes continually fanning the Birther flames worth it.
Good job, street lamp.
So Donald Trump and Mitt Romney joined forces, showing Americans that if two Ivy League-educated successful business tycoons from wealthy families can find common ground — even when one is a billionaire and the other only a multi-multi-multi-millionaire — maybe there’s hope this country isn’t so divided after all.
There are some things that you just can’t imagine happening in your life. This is one of them.
Republican presidential candidate MITT ROMNEY, upon receiving an endorsement from Donald Trump, the Worst American Ever.
Why is Mitt Romney acting like this is the first time a rich white guy has ever lent his support to another rich white guy?
“This guy here, he is what the kids call ‘the bomb.’ Donald, thank you for graciously hosting my press conference at your glitzy, glamorous casino right here in Las Vegas, where poor people are made! To clarify: I care about the poor. The poor in safety nets. Safety nets, not like the New Jersey Nets, though I imagine that’s where the poor from Trenton and Newark and Willingboro go, into New Jersey Nets, GET IT? Anyway, this guy, Donald Trump — may I call you Donald? — this guy gets more TV time than I do, you can tell by the enormous brass fixture attached to the front of this podium, stamped with his surname, my God, Donald, how big is your dick? Just kidding. Well anyway this guy, Donald Trump, his word means a lot, so when he asks for the President’s birth certificate, the President should just give it to him! You know what I mean? The pursuit of happiness begins with a birth certificate issued by the United States of America, am I right? I am right. And if you’re poor in America but don’t have a birth certificate, well then you’re going to have to answer to Mr. Trump, this guy! Anyhow, I’ll skip the singing of the national anthem, because been there, done that, Newt Gingrich is still on my tail, and how about that Newt Gingrich, amirite? I mean, seriously dude, take a chill pill! As the kids would say. Chill out! As the kids might also say. Ha ha ha. Anyhow Donald Trump never apologizes, just like the president does. Donald Trump doesn’t bail people out, like the president does. He just gets bailed out! Am I right? You were bankrupt once, right Donald? Oh, right, I’m not supposed to talk about that. Anyway, man, why is there so muchbrassall up in here, Jesus H. Christ, who I believe in, I mean I’m a Mormon, just tell those fundamentalist Christians, which reminds me — don’t forget to watch The Mentalist on CBS, that Australian actor makes for a convincing American, just like Donald Trump. This guy, who in case it wasn’t clear is not endorsing Newt Gingrich, right Donald? To be sure though, can someone ask him please? Anyone? Seriously please?”
