Fritzy heard an explosion, then felt her paws gently lift from the floor — all four of them. It was a strange sensation to be sure, and she didn’t quite know what to do next. The artificial gravity was knocked out (obviously), and the Enterprise, now spinning listlessly above Deneb IV, was vulnerable to further enemy fire. ”I need to get to the Phaser Control Room,” thought Fritzy. But, floating through C Deck, she wasn’t quite sure how she’d get there — only that if she didn’t do something soon, the ship and crew’s five-year mission would come to an abrupt end.
With renewed resolve, Fritzy kicked off a bulkhead and pushed herself towards a turboshaft. She’d make it to phaser control and fire back and destroy whoever knocked out her ship.
"Fuck that," she said. "This ain’t the Kobayashi Maru."
“I understand the strong emotions by some people about our family’s decision to care for a pet. As a father, it is important to make sure my children develop a healthy relationship with animals. I want to ensure that my children establish a loving bond and treat all of God’s creatures with kindness and respect.”
ARFTORIAL Portraits of dogs in Dublin. The photographer, Fran Veale, stopped owners whilst they were walking the streets and asked if he could photograph them wearing clothes. Above, Joker (left) and Ross. (Photos: Veale via The Telegraph)
PULLING A FACE Huskies pant during a sled dog training session in Aviemore, Scotland. (Photo: David Moir / Reuters via The Telegraph)
DOG: Hello. MAN: Hi. DOG: What’s your name? MAN: William. DOG: Fido, myself. MAN: Hello Fido. DOG: Hello, William. (Beat.) Perhaps you’ve noticed that I haven’t started biting your ankles or some other unpleasantness along those lines. MAN: Yes, I actually have wondered why that is. DOG: Well, William, let me tell you. You see, a few thousand years ago, my predecessors, let’s call them “wolves,” began roaming about your little camps and settlements and whatnot, and started eating your garbage. MAN: For real? DOG: Yes! And then we started hanging around more, so you guys — let’s call you “men” and “women” — started feeding us instead of just being content with us eating your refuse. MAN: Huh. DOG: Interesting, isn’t it? Before you know it, we were being invited into your shelters, as, let’s coin a word, “pets,” and also as guards — to help protect your little encampments! MAN: That’s a big responsibility. DOG: It sure is! And thousands of years from now — I’ve seen the future! — humankind and dogkind will be joined at the hip. They’ll even say that dogs are man’s best friend. MAN: Neat! DOG: Yes, so I think I’m entitled to ask you this small favor. In exchange for eventually becoming best friends, eating your garbage, not biting your ankles and what not. MAN: Okay, ask away. DOG: First — let’s kill all the cats.
A child receives a kiss from a new friend brought in to provide comfort to residents of Newtown, Conn. The animals — some rescue dogs, others simply pets — were brought in to the devastated town from as far away as Chicago. (Photo: Allison Joyce / The New York Daily News)
Baby talks to dog.
Dog talks to baby.
And so on and so forth.
CANINE MILES PER HOUR Monty sits in the driver’s seat behind the (simulated) wheel while training to drive. Animal trainer Mark Vette has spent two months training three cross-breed rescue dogs from the Auckland, New Zealand SPCA to drive a modified Mini as a way of proving dogs can be taught to perform complex tasks. In other news for dogs, “driving away” is the new “running away.” (Photo: AFP-Getty via The Telegraph)