BLOGGING via TYPEWRITER.

Welcome to the bleeding heart liberalism, Yankees fandom, Trekker and Lego geekdom and science nerdery and newshoundishness of BLOGGING via TYPEWRITER, praised by no less than ThinkProgress and Time Magazine and Buzzfeed and Comedy Central and Funny Or Die and it's all true! Read all about me.

Home
Movie Score A Day
Ask me questions!


Site Meter

 RSS Me!

#aj Burnett

Y’all should’ve listened to Chris Christie.

Y’all should’ve listened to Chris Christie.

AJ Burnett’s pre-game speech / soliloquy:

(Standing in front of mirror):  ‘Cause I’m good enough; smart enough; and gosh darn it, people… are paying me millions of dollars to do this.  Sigh.  I want to do well; I know I can do well.  My fastball’s still got zip, my breaking ball is capable of breaking backs; and my splitter, forgetaboutit.  Did I pronounce that right?  (Enunciates.)  For GET uh bow TIT.  Just like a New Yorker!  I play for the Yankees.  I won a World Series in 2009.  I finally beat the Red Sox this year!  I CAN DO THIS!!!  (Searches back pocket.)  Hey, where’s my tin of chaw?  Aaah, I don’t need that stuff.  Just rely on my pitches.  MY PITCHES ARE MY BITCHES.  Oh, that’s not polite.  Baseball is a gentleman’s game.  Game Fours are gentlemen’s games.  I GOT THIS.  I’m only thirty-(mumbles) years old, damn it, still got life in this here arm.  The Tigers?  I don’t wanna see Jose Valverde dancing around no more, tired of that shit.  Teix, A-Rod and Cano’s bats will wake the Hell up.  Jeet’s gonna get on base and score, Grandy too, fuck all this losing by one run, two runs, shit, I’mma get me some Ivan Nova-type run support and I’m gonna WIN THIS THING, I DON’T NEED NO FUCKING CHAW, MY PITCHES ARE MY… pitches.  Gentleman’s game.  Fix your hat.  Straighten out your socks.  I’m ready for this shit.  I’M READY FOR THIS SHIT.

I’m AJ Burnett, I’m a fucking World Champion, and I’m gonna pitch like I’m the God-damned fucking shit and bring this shit back to New the fuck York.

Right?

AJ’s record is actually 10-11, but I guess even the Yankees TV folks don’t have faith in him.
(EDIT:  Fellow eagle-eyed Tumblrer thethirdshift notes that it’s Tim WAKfield, too.  :-)

AJ’s record is actually 10-11, but I guess even the Yankees TV folks don’t have faith in him.

(EDIT:  Fellow eagle-eyed Tumblrer thethirdshift notes that it’s Tim WAKfield, too.  :-)

“I know a lot of things have been written. I don’t read a lot. I don’t dig into it too much, but I do go off everyday people I meet at breakfast and lunch and it’s been nothing but positive towards me. I’m just going at it as, it’s my turn to pitch in Game Four of the A.L. championship.”

Yankees starting pitcher A.J. BURNETT, on the haters and the naysayers.

Yankee fans - don’t cover your eyes tonight. Remember Denny Neagle and Kenny Rogers? We won with them. A.J. will do fine.

We hope.

(via the Wall St. Journal - sorry, no link)

(Photo of Yankees starting pitcher A.J. Burnett from last night 3-1 victory over the Phillies in Game Two of the World Series by Barton Silverman / the New York Times)

(Photo of Yankees starting pitcher A.J. Burnett from last night 3-1 victory over the Phillies in Game Two of the World Series by Barton Silverman / the New York Times)