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Memo to Archbishop Timothy Dolan from yours truly, a member of his Catholic flock:

Sir, in your sermon today at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, you spoke out against same-sex marriages, characterizing the Catholic Church’s fight as one of a David — the Church — against a Goliath.

With all due respect, Father, who the fuck are you kidding?

May I ask what makes the Church David, sir, if the Church always seems to get its way, whatever the issue, from abortion to gay marriage?

It is those people who have to fight on those issues who, every day, face a battle from groups and organizations like the Catholic Church, solely because they believe, Archbishop, that somewhere in the Bible there exists a dictum that says exactly when life begins and who exactly should be falling in love with whom.

The people who have a right to govern over those things that are theirs — their bodies; their hearts and minds; their happiness — fight those battles, sir, day in and day out, against a religious sect that has apparently gotten marching orders from Jesus H. Christ himself: “Thou shalt meddle in affairs that you have no right to meddle in.”

And yet, here you are, casting yourself and your Church — my Church — as David in this fight.

No, sir,  The Catholic Church is the big, bullying Goliath here, and has been for years now.  And slowly but surely, as our Church loses its grip over the minds of the young, the learned, the people with common sense and a sense of right, your flock will begin to realize that Jesus himself would probably want us to stop persecuting any group of people in His name, and that it’s decidedly disingenuous for you to try and rally others to a cause that merely takes individual rights from others in the name of God.

Archbishop, you say that opposing same-sex marriage isn’t anti-gay; it’s pro-marriage.

With all due respect, sir, my guess is that God would want you to drop the bullshit.