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“Yes, President Bush may be out of office, but he left behind some real tools. And sure, President Bush may have taken his eye off the Afghan / Pakistan border for a trillion-dollar detour into Iraq, but that was just misdirection — bloody, economically-draining razzle-dazzle! It’s like that old football play where, right after the game starts, you send your defensive line to the gym to play basketball for eight years, at the end of which you will retire and then the next coach sends a lineman back into the stadium to shoot the opposing quarterback in the eye!”

STEPHEN COLBERT, responding to former Bushies Andy Card and Karl Rove saying that the killing of Osama bin Laden was made possible by “the tools that President Bush put into place,” on The Colbert Report.