Stephen Colbert’s Seussian ode to the producers of “The Lorax” okaying at least 70 promotional tie-ins to the film:
This cashtaculous sellout is not quite enough —
I’m demanding more branding of Loraxian stuff!
With what you can buy, boy, the sky is the limit —
A Filet-O-Fish meal with real hummingfish in it!
Filmmakers, get cracking! The market is lacking
a splendiferous Lorax-themed drill made for fracking!
Or the fine, certain something that all people need —
indeed, you’ll succeed if you sold us a Thneed!
They’re easy to make, if you only take
all the truffula tufts off the trees by the lake —
they’re comfy and thick as the thick ironies
of the Lorax and Seuss hawking big SUVs.