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Transcript of tonight's Republican debate.

MODERATOR: Hi. Here we are again. Let's get right to it and start with Speaker Gingrich. Sir, please don't get mad tonight.
GINGRICH: No.
ROMNEY: Freddie Mac! Resigned in disgrace! I'll release my 2012 taxes after I'm President! (Smarmy laugh.)
PAUL: Why am I here?
SANTORUM: I still hate gay people. And I'm still a huge dick. Look at my sweater vest! Obama's a Muslim!
MODERATOR: Does anyone here have anything of substance to offer?
GINGRICH: I hear Santorum is some sort of substance.
(All laugh. Except Santorum, whose wife runs onto the stage.)
MRS. SANTORUM: Don't pick on my husband! He just hates gay people!
MODERATOR: Security, please escort Mrs. Santorum off the stage.
ROMNEY: I pay Cayman Islands offshore taxes investments Bain Capital, uh, universal healthcare reform no, Obama must go!
PAUL: Why am I here?
SANTORUM: Still with the hating of the gay people. Sweater vests! (Takes off shirt.)
MODERATOR: Thanks all. We're going to commercial and when we come back, I'm going to ask the candidates, "Why even bother?" Stay tuned.