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“Here’s where I think the real problem is: the Post Office is a public-private hybrid — it’s controlled by Congress, but receives no taxpayer money. They should flip that. That’s a terrible business plan. They should be more like Halliburton, which gets lots of taxpayer money, and is controlled by no one.”

STEPHEN COLBERT, on how to fix the U.S. Postal Service’s financial woes, on The Colbert Report