THANKEES As we enter the final week of Derek Jeter’s home games, the Times looks back at the farewells for other Yankee greats, including that time Yogi Berra got a big tube TV, lamp collection and hat rack and when Phil “Holy Cow!” Rizzuto got knocked over by a bovine. (Photos: Sara Krulwich & Ernie Sisto / The New York Times)
During and after his bullshit press conference today, NFL Commissioner Roger “What Tape? I Didn’t see No Tape!” Goodell got totally shit on — deservedly so — by former and current NFL players. And it didn’t go unnoticed that while he apologized to the league itself, not a word of apology went out to the victims of domestic violence or child abuse.
Not for nothin’ but I find it interesting that the Commissioner went out of his way to say that changes to the NFL’s policies on its players not acting like assholes were going to be in place by the “Super Bowl” — because 1) branding! Mention the Super Bowl whenever possible! In front of an NFL step and repeat banner during a nationally televised press conference, of course!!! PROTECT THE BRAND!!! and 2) why shouldn’t they take five months to address what they can in five fucking days?
(Photo: Howard Simmons / New York Daily News)
COOK YOUR HAGGIS WITH THAT THING? Sorry Scotland — with 26 of 32 councils reporting, it’s probably no. (Photo of flaming bagpipe player and maybe a kilted arsonist by Paul Hackett / Reuters via The Guardian)
“So the NFL succumbed to… beer pressure.”
JON STEWART, on reports that the Minnesota Vikings reversed their decision to not suspend child abuser Adrian Peterson only after major league sponsor Anheuser Busch said they were “not yet satisfied” with how the NFL handled the case, on The Daily Show.
Stewart adds, “How crazy is this — a company that sells alcohol is the moral touchstone of the NFL… Maybe one of the only substances that is proven scientifically to increase the likelihood of domestic abuse — that company is saying to the NFL, ‘You’ve got a real problem here.”
Dear Los Angeles Police Department:
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Jesus H. Christ
Rainbow-shaped sundog in the skies above Rockland County, NY.
A thing I just saw. Rockland County, NY.