March 2012
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“Two big GOP primaries last night: Michigan, the Wolverine state, and Arizona,...”
– STEPHEN COLBERT, The Colbert Report
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I hope Rick Santorum runs out of room on his DVR.
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I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t see the words “SPOILER ALERT” before accidentally reading on the Internet how the last episode of Matlock ends.
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I hope Rick Santorum forgets his WordPress password.
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I hope Rick Santorum gets three hour and 59-minute erections from using Viagra and thus can’t call a doctor for help.
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I hope Rick Santorum becomes Bobby Valentine’s biographer.
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I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t derive pleasure from masturbation, just the sensation of drinking orange juice after brushing with toothpaste.
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I hope Rick Santorum asks Siri to call him “rock god” and Siri answers “whatever you say, Yanni” instead.
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I hope Rick Santorum is forced to watch Waterworld and The Postman back-to-back for seventeen fortnights.
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I hope Rick Santorum wakes from nightmares where he thinks he’s Chekov’s ear in that extreme closeup from Star Trek II where the Ceti eels emerge.
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I hope Rick Santorum’s anti-diarrheal fails with nine minutes left during Mass.
February 2012
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“I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”
– Republican presidential candidate MITT ROMNEY, apparently unimpressed with the rain protection gear of choice worn by NASCAR fans at Monday’s Daytona 500.
He’s gone from gaffe-prone to outright dickish.
(New York Times via Wonkette)
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WASH POST: "At least seven Americans employed by... →
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"Hi. I'm Tim Cook, and welcome to our March 7th... →
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I wonder if Republicans call actual elitists...
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“There’s a law against everything. That’s America.”
– That’s what one cop told an Occupy Wall Street protester last night in Zuccotti Park. Eight of an estimated 30 protesters were arrested, mostly for disorderly conduct. Kind of the anti-‘Wire’, no? (via NY Mag)
You know police officers can park their cars anywhere they want in the fucking city and...
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On the rich getting less rich: "People who don’t... →
I don’t know whether to cry or pull my hair out or both.
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Bobby Valentine is also the Mitt Romney of...
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Douchetasticness-wise, Bobby Valentine is the Mitt... →
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NY TIMES: Three separate inquiries -- one U.S.,... →
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In other news, diplomacy fucking works. Ask...
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“The United States says North Korea has agreed to suspend uranium enrichment and...”
– The Associated Press (via USA Today), “U.S.: North Korea Agrees to Suspend Nuclear Activities”
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BREAKING: NY Times, USA Today reporting that...
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“This is far from over.
Mitt Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts and a...”
– STEPHEN HENDERSON, “Michigan Victory Can’t Mask Romney’s Troubles,” in the Detroit Free Press
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“(Rick Santorum’s) loss in Michigan raises the possibility that he has hit...”
– The New York Times, “In Ohio, Santorum Tries to Widen Message While Keeping Base Excited”
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“Sadly the propaganda campaign launched in the 1960s has taken root. The radical...”
– Republican presidential candidate RICK SANTORUM, writing in his 2005 book It Takes A Family, essentially saying that women have no role in the workplace.
They’re just good for heterosexual sex, making babies and cleaning up the house, right, Rick?
Amazingly, about half of half of the country...
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