Dear whoever the fuck is playing their voicemails on speaker phone in the library.
Duck down, yell SHUT THAT SHIT THE FUCK UP! and let us know how it goes. It should go well.
kill yourself.
“ When a gas station employee in Englewood, New Jersey refused to give 21-year-old Kadien Jackson a refund on an unopened box of condoms, Jackson allegedly took the dispute to another level and called 911, telling the operator that the gas station was being robbed. He even provided a description of the robber, which happened to match the employee who refused to take back the prophylactics. After responding to the call and realizing they’d been summoned for no reason, police arrested Jackson and charged him with making a false report. What’s worse is that Kadien Jackson’s failure to both get laid and get his money back will now be immortalized by Google, eclipsing his 1995 mention in the Bergen County Record for his 8-year-old soccer achievements. ”
I love living in my neck of the woods.
Gothamist: Attempt at Condom Refund Ends in Humiliation, Arrest (via lowlife) (via cvxn)
For Gawkerer monkeyrash. I told you so, and you owe me a drink. :-)
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
So, we’re Link-ing to this then? (ducks)
Feist (with Gonzales) - “Lovertits” (Peaches cover)
This always reminded me of the music from Zelda.
Inclusion-wise, is this list like, half-accidental, half-non-accidental? Such is flame fame.
Most Despised Internet Microcelebrities
(via Gawker)
You know you may be getting too attached when...
I too have achieved this level of lameness. But truth is I rather enjoy these dreams.
…you have dreams where you spend a lot of time sitting around reading your Tumblr dashboard and reblogging imagined posts.
A whole new level of lame! YAY ME!
I assume they are referring to the vehicle and not the driver and/or some other poor unfortunate soul.
About me
I'm also known as Aaron Altman on Gawker, who was formerly known as InOtherNews....
To quote Eddie Izzard, this is all true.
Thx to Tammany_Fall for the nameplate; DorothyMantooth, still love ya!
Comments? Complaints?
poetryofcorso (at) google's mail thing (dot) com.